The solution for super woman syndrome
The truth about Superwomen.
All superwomen, don't feel super, at least not all the time. The truth is, she is often misunderstood, isolated and ostracized for standing out, being bold and appearing to better than us. This leads to her feeling defensive, lonely, frustrated and even confused about her own success. She's fought her whole life to get to where she is now.
5 Common Misperceptions about Super Women
She knows everything.
She is tough as nails.
She has no weaknesses.
She doesn't need help.
She is perfect.
Super Woman Syndrome
The Super Woman sometimes referred to as “Super Mom” experiences an intense pressure to effortlessly, keep up with career, business, motherhood, marriage, care taking, extra curricular activities, responsibilities and obligations by extended family and friends, while appearing unaffected.
The term was coined in 1984, in a book called “The Super Woman Syndrome” written by Marjorie Hensen Shaevitz.
The truth is, superwomen are struggling with a mental health syndrome. I use the word syndrome lightly, but at any point you or I, can experience, depression or anxiety given the wrong circumstances or stuck in a toxic environment without effective supports. Any superwoman, can develop a full blown mental health disorder.
.
We all sit somewhere on that spectrum of mental health and can be pushed over the the line of I'm okay to I need HELP!…at any given moment.
Perfectionism destroys our minds
Some superwomen, never seek professional help and wear “masks” everyday to hide their emotions, it’s called '“Impression Management”. Impression management can be a conscious or unconscious means of holding back information to protect the public’s perception. You may do this because you fear the ridicule or judgement, of not having it all together or being weak. You avoid seeking“therapy”, which in turn makes creates a decline in your physical and mental health.
You try really hard to protect yourself and avoid the stigma associated with the myths about mental health, which is down right unreasonable and irrational for any human being.
You could be holding everything together by a strand of thread, but don’t seek support, because mental health is so taboo.
You’ve been walking around trying to be a strong independent successful woman, because to admit you’re struggling, means "you got issues".
And who want's to be the woman with issues?
5 Common Myths about mental health
She is crazy.
She can't be smart and have mental health issues.
She is being a dramatic diva.
She just needs to get over it.
She should know how to fix it.
The Secret behind the S
Some of us are wearing capes that we didn’t ask for and masks to hide the fear.
The secret ‘S’ is for SURVIVOR. She never told anyone.
She survived a suicide attempt. When she was in undergrad and she took a bottle of pills, because her boyfriend cheated on her and he was the only person she connected to because her parents were abusive and she lost all hope in love.
She has survived an eating disorder, that she developed in middle school, because her mother and older sisters told her she was fat and she wasn't beautiful as a size large.
She survived severe depression, which she developed at the tender age of 10 years old, when her mother suddenly died of cancer and her identity and sense of self were compromised.
She survived post traumatic stress disorder, when her beloved uncle raped her for 5 years and threatened her life if she ever told a soul (and she never told a soul).
She survived intense anxiety as she fought to live up to her father's standards of excellence but always fell short by 1 or 2 points and the finish line kept moving. She was punished every step of the way for not being as good as the other kids. She was a loser.
She survived her mind telling her she's not good enough, it will never get better, there's no way out, she's worthless, a failure and it's over. She survived.
But even survivors still struggle daily, with the residual impact of trauma, while sitting at her desk, in the boardroom, in front the classroom, at the operating table.
Some days she is emotionally triggered, someone reminds her of her past and situations seem to be repeating themselves, when old patterns resurface.
This is mental health. This is not a crazy. It's trouble sleeping. Losing your appetite. Losing interest. Excessive Worry. Feeling Hopeless. Being confused. Feeling stuck. Feeling frustrated. Feeling Alone.
When we project shame on mental health, when we project our own fears and insecurities on someone with a mental health disorder, we lose them. We lose them to their mental health issues, we lose them to substance abuse, we lose them to suicide.
Mental Health Matters
More than 1 in 5 women in the United States experienced a mental health condition in the past year, such as depression or anxiety.1
According to national research studies, there is an increase in mental health issues and suicide among women and professionals.
Professional women are at high risk, especially when they have the added pressures of marriage, parenting and care giving for their elderly parents. When more people die as a result of suicide, compared to car accidents, we have to look at society and our health care industry for a solution.
We can begin by acknowledging mental health is more common than people want to admit, removing the stigma and shame and being more supportive and inclusive of people who have experienced trauma, depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, addiction, rape,etc. We need to also acknowledge that the day to day stress in our career alone, is enough to seek mental health treatment.
Seek the support of a licensed mental health professional that can guide you through stabilizing your emotions.
Resources:
www.psychologytoday.com
www.therapyforblackgirls.com
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
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About The Author:
Seneca Williams, LMHC, CPC, therapist and coach, is the Founder of a premier membership network for women, to address entrepreneurship and emotional wellness. The Conquer Network was birthed, when she realized the distinct connection between an entrepreneurs success to her emotional wellness and mindset, which is not addressed in traditional business coaching. She helps women entrepreneurs, build confidence and improve their emotions, to improve their productivity as an entrepreneur. In the network, entrepreneurs gain strategies on personal growth and entrepreneurship from industry experts.